Does anyone understand how I feel? Truly at all.. I know You say U do Lord. I know You do.. even better than I know myself. What I’m going through right now, is just a test of my faith in You.. knowing You will carry me through. Im probably going through punishment for being disobedient & choosing my own path that adheres to my sinful nature before. You’re probably teaching & molding me to be a better person.. this I don’t doubt.
I don’t want to complain about it lord… I don’t. But I still do! I thought it was finally coming to an end when Tom told me he has helped me delete the fake myspace profile today. To my horror, another one sprang up even before I had time to rejoice in the news… Im sorry… I do try lord to be happy & not let my friends and family worry for me… cos I don’t want them to see me sad. But its bothering me lord.. it really is. I feel so ashamed and loose when the guys call up and I HEAR in their voices & tone that they think im some slut who offended some other slut for her to do this to me…. Enough is enough! …. It’s draining me day-by-day….. Surely lord im not as bad as I think I am to deserve this? Although I know I am not sinless and perfect. “ Father, if You could, please take this cup from me. Yet Your will but not mine be done.” As this was your prayer O lord, let it be mine. Help me O lord… Save me. Im so tired.
Thank you for listening lord, im eternally grateful for the things you have given me. Teach me to understand the plan you have for me in my life. Teach me to be more like You.
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